Are you wondering what happiness in marriage looks like, and maybe even how to create it? This article will help break that down, along with some other common questions on the topic.
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Whether you’ve been with your partner for a couple years or a couple decades, it’s important to work toward happiness in marriage. John (my husband) and I strive to do this daily, while also reminding ourselves that we’re going to slip up from time to time. With that in mind, I’ve decided to share the tips and tricks we’ve in hopes that it’ll help you in your marriage.
If you enjoy this post you may also like our post “60 Favorite Thing Questions to Ask Your Spouse”.
H2 – What is the key to happiness in marriage?
You know that feeling you had the night of your wedding when you just married your partner and felt like everything was happy, perfect, and exactly what you wanted? As we’ve all probably realized by now, marriage doesn’t always feel like that.
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens, and unfortunately there is not a single solution to a happy marriage. Both people in the relationship need to put in the work. Below you’ll find the do’s and don’ts of a happy relationship.
DO (How to actively love your partner)
- Pray for your spouse
- When we pray for our spouse we think about what is best for them, and ask God for it. This is a great way to remind yourself of the person you’re married to and how you can support them. Here are some topics you can pray for: Their health, safety, happiness, and ways you can support them.
- Communicate with your spouse
- Let your spouse know what’s going on in your life. Be open and honest with them about where you’re at, and where you’d like to be. Your partner is on your side! If you ever don’t feel like that’s the case – remind them. This brings me into my next point.
- Tell your partner what you need
- When you hold back from telling your partner your needs you’re taking away an opportunity for them to love and serve you. When you struggle, they should be there to support you. Letting your partner know how they can support you will help them support you in the best way possible, instead of guessing and not hitting the mark. Never expect that they know what you want or need. None of us are mind readers!
- Practice patience
- Patience is one of the most important qualities in a marriage. Below are some examples on how this can be practiced.
- Is your partner taking a long time to get ready? Take a deep breath and practice patience.
- Are you frustrated that your partner keeps forgetting to close the kitchen cabinet? Close it and gently remind your partner that you recognize it’s going to be a habit to break and that you know it won’t be instant, but that you would appreciate it if they close the door.
- Is your partner forgetful about that thing they said they’d do the other day? Give them a friendly reminder about it.
- Patience is one of the most important qualities in a marriage. Below are some examples on how this can be practiced.
- Encourage your partner
- Let your partner know all the things you love about them, what you’re proud of them for, and why you’re happy to be married to them. These practices not only help them feel loved and noticed by you, but also help you love them and notice them more.
- Tell your partner when they’re doing something you don’t like
- If your partner does something that you don’t like, let them know in a caring way. Be sure to tell them what you don’t like, as well as how you feel might be a better way to go about whatever it is.
- Listen
- When your partner is talking, LISTEN to them! This is so important and so simple to forget when you’re going about your daily life.
- Ask questions
- Show your partner that you care about them by asking them questions.
DON’T
- Be passive aggressive
- Instead of subtly hinting that something bothers you, it’s best to be direct. Being passive aggressive creates tension in relationships, which can ultimately lead to resentment.
- Set unrealistic expectations
- When we set unrealistic expectations our partner will always fall short.
- Place all blame on your partner
- When thinking about this concept of working on your relationship, I encourage you to start with yourself. When we put fault on our partners we often overlook the blame that lies on us, leading to deeper resentment toward them. When we focus on
H2 – What is true happiness in marriage?
True happiness in marriage comes when both people are putting in the work, and genuinely feel their partner putting in the work. So what does it mean to “put in the work”? This is a phrase used to describe making an effort to make your partner feel heard, seen, served, and loved. By doing the Do’s listed above and attempting to stop the Don’t listed above, that’s how to start putting in the work, leading to true happiness.
“Happiness as a whole should not come from a marriage, but that your marriage should be a puzzle piece that allows happiness to keep growing.” – Tom Mullen
With this in mind, it’s not always easy and it doesn’t always come naturally.
H2 – What are the 3 most important things in marriage?
The three most important things in marriage are subjective, but here’s what I think:
- Respect
- Mutual respect is a must in a committed relationship. In order to feel heard, seen, served, and loved, we need to be respected.
- Commitment
- “Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” – Tom Mullen. We need to commit to loving our partner each and every day.
- The definition of commitment is ‘the state or quality of being dedicated’. Are you dedicated to your partner? Do you put in the work to love your partner each day?
- Trust
- To fully love someone, we need to trust them. When we are with people we don’t trust we tend to question their intent in everything they say and do. If there’s something in your marriage that’s holding you back from trusting your partner, I encourage you to bring it up to them and ask them if you can talk it out.
If you enjoyed this post you may also like our post “60 Favorite Thing Questions to Ask Your Spouse”.
