Wondering about what community in marriage looks like for a couple who puts God first in their relationship? This post breaks down what that looks like and how to build that!
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Whether you’re a couple months or a couple years into your marriage this is a topic that needs to be addressed if it hasn’t been yet. If you’re anything like John and me you love having people around you, pushing you toward your faith, but are still actively figuring out who those people are and how to build a tighter community with them.
You are going to learn the role of community in marriage, the importance of community in marriage, the answer to ‘what does Jesus say about community’, and how to find community within your marriage.
After reading this post you should have a better grasp on what Jesus calls us to, what your goal for community in marriage is, and how to get closer to that goal together in your marriage.
This post is all about the importance of community in marriage.
The Importance of Prioritizing Community in Marriage
What Does Jesus Say About Community?
Before we dive into the importance of prioritizing community in marriage, I want to provide some guidance points from the Bible. God has given us these guidelines, not to hold us back, but to help us THRIVE.
The words in these verses will help us better understand God’s expectations for community in marriage, and more broadly, in life.
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
John 15: 12–13
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Importance of Community in Marriage
Decision making can become easier within community
Bringing other people into your conversations will help you see different perspectives on various topics.
Throughout your marriage you will make a LOT of decisions. It’s important to have multiple perspectives so you understand the potential risks and rewards of the decisions you and your spouse make together.
It’s good to have people around to help with both the easy decisions like what new restaurant to try or how to decorate your garden, and the tough decisions like where to send your kids to school or where to house your mom after your dad passes away.
When you only spend time with one another your time together becomes less precious
I work from home and John (my husband) has the option to work from home or in the office. We notice that when he works from home all week we miss each other less and get a little bit more attitude when something bothers us.
It’s important to have people in your life that you and your spouse can spend time with together, or that you can spend time one-on-one with.
Celebrating wins is much more exciting in community
When you get a promotion at your job, or find out your pregnant, what’s the first thing you want to do? Probably tell someone, right?
Life without other people in it would be SO sad.
God created us to celebrate the good times together and being in community, having people that you can tell your exciting news to, is a solid way to live that out!
Addressing sins and struggles becomes easier to do when you’re around other believers
This is never a fun topic. Most of us have people we go to when we want to be built up, and people we go to when we want the truth.
Having a community around you and your partner is a great way to help you and your partner understand where things could be better in your relationship, and in your life.
Your relationship with Jesus grows when you serve and are served by people around you
Growing closer with people helps us understand the potential God created us to have. When we grow closer with people, we start to really care about them and their lives, leading to us wanting to serve them and them wanting to serve us.
Serving and being served by people around us helps us see who Jesus is in a more tangible way. This leads to a closer connection with Him in the long-run.
How to Find a Community in the Midst of Your Marriage
When you first get into a relationship it’s easy to spend all of your time with that person, and unintentionally push away friends. Once married, couples often regret doing this and wish they would’ve nurtured their friendships throughout their dating relationship.
Or, like John and me, you may have had a solid community, but moved away after you got married. While this is a great time for John and me to grow together as a couple, we still crave and need community.
Below are a few tips for making new friends and building community around you in your marriage.
Join a Church & get involved
Joining a local church is a great way to meet people in your neighborhood, and getting involved in the church (joining their Bible studies, serving for services, etc.) is a great way to grow closer with the people you meet.
If Bible studies aren’t currently offered at your church, this could be a good option for you. You could start a small group at your church or search “Christian small groups near me” in Google to discover some local Bible study meetups.
What are you passionate about? Is there a local organization that aligns with your interests or hobbies?
For example, if you like animals, consider volunteering at a local animal shelter. If you like mountain biking, consider volunteering for your local trails team to keep the trails clean. There are numerous opportunities around, you’ll just need to do a little digging to find them!
Facebook Groups and Meetups
I recommend making a list of all of your hobbies (i.e. bicycling, hiking, traveling) and all of your interests (i.e. design, organization, entrepreneurship) and looking into groups for each.
My suggestion for you is to pick three of those groups to join. Once you join and are a part of the group for a couple months, eliminate the one that you interact with the least.
You don’t want to become a part of so many groups that you’re overwhelmed and just decide not to participate in any events.
Bumble BFF is essentially online dating for friends. You swipe through other people who are also looking to make friends in the area, and when both of you swipe right, you are “matched” and able to message each other.
This has been a great way to make friends for John and me since moving across the country!
This post is all about the importance of community in marriage.
If you enjoyed this post you should check out our post “9 Ways to Live By Faith in Your Marriage“.